How am I meant to feel at 56?

How am I meant to feel at 56?  Being 56 years old is a curious thing and I’m still trying to work out what it means.  In fact I’m nearer to 57 than 56, so perhaps I ought to figure this 56 year old stuff out before too long.

My daughters, who are 18 and 20 years old, think of me as being old, especially now I have retired.  They look for any grey hairs to prove their point, not that I have any grey hairs, unless I go a few days without shaving.  As they are at the very start of their careers, still working out their direction in life, thoughts of being at the other end of the career scale must seem like a million years away.

They aren’t sure whether I am a wise old man who considers things carefully before saying anything, or someone who is still heading there.  Almost certainly they think of me as being so old I can’t relate to being their age with comments about “you wouldn’t understand” when I ask them about their lives.  They point out “nobody had a computer in those days”, let alone mastering the intricacies of social media etiquette or the language that goes with it.

We have had debates about whether I’ll go grey or not, as this is definitely a sign of getting on a bit.  They are very much aware of me giving them middle aged messages about saving for the future, putting some money aside in their pension funds and so on.  They remember me telling them how I need to have a rest day after a long run, so this all adds to the being old perception.  I see eyes rolling when I mention something from being their age, back in the last century.

So does all this add up to being old?

Nah, it can’t, surely?  I like to think of there being more good times ahead of me.  I have worked bloomin’ hard to be where I am and I’m determined to enjoy life and seek a rewarding retirement.  I still like the idea of having some amazing art on our walls, an amazing hi-fi with loud music which is exciting, moving and engaging.  Getting really fit again, perhaps doing a LEJOG bike ride, another marathon or two is something I aspire to.

I like to look on the bright side of things, things are always looking up for the future.  The best is yet to come, and so on.  That’s me to a tee.  And yet I can’t ignore some of the other signals about being 56 years old.

I thought it might be fun to list some of my physical or mental characteristics, as a kind of personal record on being 56:

• My hair has been changing since I was about 50, or that’s when I noticed a change.  My hair is receding and thinning out a little each year but I don’t think I’ll go completely bald.  The colour of the hair on my head is unchanged, although it does have a little more blonde in the summer.  My beard seems to have lots of different colours in, or Tortoise shell, as Rachel puts it.  I’ve never had huge amounts of body hair but that too is thinning out.  My eye brows grow more these days, as you can see from my photo, occasionally sprouting a long wiry hair which the barber always takes off (he doesn’t even ask these days, he just does it).  I have more hair in my nose as well (!) but I’ve only noticed it this year.
• Learning new things is more difficult.  This was brought home to me when I switched jobs in January 2016.  I thought I could have an easier ride through waving my ‘transferrable skill’ ticket.  It was hard going, harder than I expected.
• My eyesight is definitely changing.  I need glasses more and more for anything closer than arms length.  In February I last had my eyes checked and the optician said he could improve my distance vision; this I wholeheartedly agree with.  Even watching TV is more of a strain these days, although our television is relatively small compared to contemporary ones.
• My weight and BMI are fairly stable, although I do need to take care on what I eat.  My BMI is 22.9, so I’m right in the middle of the healthy range.  Fourteen years ago I hit my heaviest of 13st 10lbs which, looking back, was an awful weight.  My ideal weight is about 6lbs lighter than I am right now.
• My skin has a few wrinkles coming and these show up more on my face when I’ve caught the sun.  I quite like having a few wrinkles, I like to think it gives me a rugged look (which is certainly not what I feel!).
• Stress, worry is not something I’m bothered by these days, although I have in the past.  Obviously a major factor is quitting work, apart from that I do feel more relaxed and many people say I seem more easy-going these days.  So that seems a good development.  When I think back at the things I used to worry about, they seemed a really big deal at the time.  And does it now?  No way!
• My outlook is definitely that of a younger person, or at least that’s what I’d claim.  Some of my tastes in art, music, photography and so on might reflect that.  I always think the best is yet to come
• Current health issues are a reminder of how, arguably, I’m not as young as I like to think I am.  Earlier this week when I was in hospital the consultant said my prostate issues are what he expects to see in a 70 year old, not a 56 year old.  Prostate issues are definitely a sign of age, no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise.  My kidneys, although heavily damaged, should see me out alright.

So do I feel 56?

Yes, I think I do!

Related: The benefits of being 50 on The Cycle Hub blog