The other day I was reflecting on some of the daft situations I sometimes found myself in as an Officer working for the Probation Service. Virtually all of the daft situations were from Court. I might post some of these tales from the Court room, starting off with this one from Hereford Magistrates Court in the early 1990s.
Good practice?
For the Probation Officer on duty in Court, it was always considered good practice to visit a prisoner in the cells after sentence, before they’re taken off to prison. This was especially important if it was someone’s first time in prison, vulnerable or if the sentence was unexpected. Sometimes when people got sentenced to prison it was a real shock, for a variety of reasons and they appreciated being able to talk to someone who wasn’t in a uniform.
So one day, busy as ever, in Hereford Magistrates Court, the first case after the lunch break involved a man who was already remanded in custody. I handed the pre sentence reports to the usher, who then passed them to the clerk and the magistrates. The solicitor representing the defendant had already had his copy and then spoke to the Court saying how helpful they must be finding the report and the reasons why they should let his client walk free. While that was all very nice, I could tell he was annoying the magistrates who with no more than a nod between them sentenced the man to six months custody. He was taken off, in handcuffs, to the cells.
The magistrates then got involved in a parking ticket matter which was listed next. As there wasn’t any need for me to stay in Court for that, I took the opportunity to go through to the cells to see the man who’d just been sentenced. The Court cells were actually the Police station cells, all the same. When I got through the desk officer explained how they were really busy and full of prisoners, they even had two handcuffed to the radiator in the interview room which I’d normally use. In the tiny cells they had 2 or 3 prisoners in each cell. So the officer took me to the cell my chap was in, took the other prisoners to other cells and left me in there with mine and closed the door with me inside.
I chatted to the prisoner for a few minutes. He was okay, taking it quite well considering. He had his “weekend” bag with his toothbrush and a few clothes in, ready to go back to Gloucester prison that night. He seemed to appreciate me going to see him.
After a couple of minutes I pressed the buzzer on the wall when it was time for me to go. Eventually a different officer came, opened the little hatch and asked what I wanted.
“I’m ready to go now, back into Court please” I said
With that he slammed the hatch closed and walked off laughing.
Damn it, he thought I was a prisoner trying it on.
The prisoner thought it was hilarious, saying how nice it will be for me to have a trip to Gloucester prison with him!
I pressed the buzzer again, and again. Eventually I heard hurried footsteps and then the door got opened wide very quickly.
“Apologies sir, didn’t know you were there, we’ve just changed shift. Thought it was a bit odd for a prisoner to ask to go”.
Meanwhile, back in Court
As I opened the door and walked back into the Court room, everyone looked at me. I did my usual crick of the neck, out of respect for the Court (horizontal bows were reserved for grovelling solicitors).
“Mr Hook!” demanded the chair of the bench who looked as if was able to explode “we’ve been waiting for you. May we have the reports on your next case please? Where have you been?”
I was feeling a combination of sheer embarrassment and yet I could only just stop myself laughing out loud. The whole Court room was watching my every move as I went back to my desk and I noticed one or two other Court staff with a bit of a restrained smile on their face. I found the reports, handed them to the usher and the magistrates said they would retire to read the reports.
“All stand” bellowed the usher.
As the magistrates filed out, the last one, a kind lady I vaguely knew smiled at me and gave me half a wink. She must have had a pretty good idea what happened and didn’t let on.
Once the magistrates were out, the entire Court room erupted in laughter. They all pretty much knew what must have happened but never bothered to send the usher to find me or anything like that.
Thankfully I never got to experience the delights of Gloucester prison. I took ages for me to live that one down.