I’ve found myself reflecting on parenthood, just that stage in life. The things I’ve learned as a parent have taken me a little by surprise at times. As Rachel and I are both only children, we never had older or younger siblings and therefore we were slightly inexperienced at family life.
Being a parent is, nevertheless, a privilege, a huge responsibility, a heart wrenching and heart warming experience. Would I do things different if had my time around? Yes. These are some of the points from my 20 odd years of being a parent to Becky and Hannah.
- Nothing can really prepare you for being a parent.
- It is the most difficult, important and hugely rewarding job in the world.
- It doesn’t stop when they reach 18, it’s a life long commitment. I do wonder how my relationship with Becky will change when she gets married in August, or for Hannah as and when she gets married in the future.
- Being a parent is the most amazing job in the whole world. Seeing them through different stages of childhood, having memories of my own childhood flooding back is astonishing.
- I got the issue of pocket money wrong. We should have been more decisive about what and when was paid, or even earned.
- It has been quite exhausting and draining at times. We were both well into our 30s when we had our children and probably had less energy than in our 20s.
- Getting the balance right between being protective and not overly protective is always important. This is an area where I think Rachel and I have a different perspective but that’s absolutely fine.
- I wish I had questioned things more – school, Sunday school etc.
- Only we as parents can decide how we should nurture and discipline our children. In the early days some well meaning folk tried to suggest how we should raise our children. Decisions on these things is for the parents. Parents can ask for advice and other people’s views, indeed this is a positive thing to do but it’s not right to impose your own values on others
- Seeing Becky and Hannah take their own steps in the world as young adults has been wonderful. Potentially they both have an amazing future ahead of them. I’m excited for them. And yet life somehow becomes more complicated with each generation, certainly a whole lot harder in spite of society’s progress.