As you can imagine I have been pondering my evolving relationship with my newly married daughter. There is nothing particularly new about this kind of situation, after all I have needed to change my thinking once she had turned 18, became more independent at university and through to her getting engaged and then married.
It is David as her new husband who she will confide in first of all, this is only right and proper. It is important they get their relationship right from the start and yet they’ll need to monitor themselves. One aspect of their own relationship, is getting the balance right in terms of seeing us as her parents. Just because she is married, it doesn’t stop me still being her father.
I don’t want to over step the mark. I want to be on hand to give fatherly advice but only if it is sought. But what do you say if you can see an avoidable problem ahead?
How much will we see of them? I suspect they will want to be self sufficient right from the start. I’m thinking David’s family will keep a nice, polite distance and so we do the same. And yet newly married couples are not meant to be distant and autonomous from the wider family, surely? We have recommended they stay at their own house in Exeter for Christmas, again to help get their married life established but I will of course miss them both.
We do have a practical issue though….. the contents of her room on our house! Becky doesn’t know this yet but I’m thinking of taking it all down to her before too long. Left to her own devices it would otherwise take decades to sort through.
So there you have it. In my mind I’m pondering how my/our relationship will work in the coming weeks, months and years. Happy to hear people’s views, either as comments below or via the contact tab in the top right corner of the page.