M25 frustrations

Last night was very trying for me as I yet again experienced the M25 frustrations, almost at their worst.  Apart from the selfish, idiot drivers trying to barge their way in front, I found myself behaving like Mr Bean.

It had already been a fairly long journey as the M25 ground to a halt.  The overhead signs said there was an accident ahead and the two left lanes were blocked off meaning we all had to squeeze into the two right hand lanes (overtaking lanes in Highway Code lingo).  My SatNav concurred.

Most drivers were taking turns to pull over and neatly plonk themselves in the correct lanes as soon as it was practical.  And then the real frustration started.  Some drivers thought they could simply over take the lengthy queue and pull in at the last minute.

Surprise, surprise, these were flash cars.  Big Beamers, Mercs and the like; and then the Range Rovers.  Regular readers will know I have bemoaned these obscene cars before, not that I’m developing a complex or anything (see below for said link) and it proved my point that these ridiculous cars are often driven by arrogant drug dealers, Royal protection officers and “new money” riff raff.

Oh and I need to tell you about my Mr Bean impersonation….

As I was stationary for several minutes, I turned the engine off and couldn’t help but notice how dirty my door mirror was and how grubby the window was.  So I opened the window and wiped the mirror with my car’s chamois spongey thing.  That made it even worse! There were even more smudgey, smeary marks and even more impossible to see what was behind me.

And then I had an idea!  Somehow I needed to wash the mirror, while I was still at a standstill on the blummin M25.   I tried blasting the windscreen with the washers while holding the chamois thing on the outside of the windscreen.  Alas it remain dry.

The only other water was from my water bottle in the car.  Unfortunately it was one of those with a straw which went right to the bottom.  So in my Mr Bean moment, I sucked up a mouthful of water and dribbled it out on the chamois.  Now at least some landed on the chamois, the rest on my lap making me look as if I had a bit of an “accident”.  Nevertheless I managed to wipe over the glass and marginally improved the cleanliness of the mirror.

Just as I was feeling chuffed with myself, I noticed the cars in front were already speeding ahead.

”Flip” I thought as I turned on the engine, into gear and floored it.  I didn’t exactly get very far when there was some alarm screeching at me – the hand brake was still on!  I then did my best Mr Bean look; checking my fingernails, rolled my eyes and made sure I never looked in the mirror.

Related: Who drives a black Range Rover?