A testing experience

Earlier in the week had been the somewhat uneasy testing experience with the Coronavirus.   Fortunately all is well and I have celebrated with a run, as you do.

By Tuesday evening I was getting quite a bit of beef, as Hannah kindly put it.  I had a sore throat, I’d been coughing more and more and had a tight chest.  So I reluctantly put my stoic stance aside for a call to 111.

Surprisingly I didn’t have to wait long for my phone call to be answered, or the two times they called me back, each time progressing up the healthcare hierarchy.

The upshot of all this was one of reassurance as I wasn’t having a heart attack (which I never considered in the first place) or was it known whether I had the Coronavirus. So instead the instructions were to stay in for 7 days, for Rachel and Hannah that meant 14 days.  Talk about BEEF.

Next day and never one to give up easily, or to ever stop being the librarian-cum-researcher, Rachel checked things out and suggested I could have a test, after all, and that would settle it.  So through being my mother-in-law’s carer I could have a test.  Online I went and booked a test for the following day at Milton Keynes.

Arriving at the test centre had a sinister feel to it.  We followed the testing signs and turned into a dual carriageway on the grid system in MK.  No other cars or people were around; nearby office blocks stood lifeless.  Traffic cones were everywhere, channeling our movements and then we had to stop by a hi-viz man with a face mask and clipboard.  I was instructed to simply follow the car in front and we pulled off the road onto what might have been an open air car park.  Quickly I became disorientated, maybe that’s the idea.

I was instructed to stop, again by someone in a face mask and hi-viz jacket.  He stood in front of the car, held up various cards.  The first instructed me to keep the car windows closed unless instructed otherwise, no photos and the final card asked me to display my QR code.  Luckily I had that and held it up at the window while he scanned it.

Clearly everything was in order and I was directed to stop under a canopy by a portacabin (actually there were several of these) and I was clearly in a process.  Someone checked my QR code again and issued me with a testing kit.  When I say issued me, I mean it was placed on the windscreen wipers and then I was directed to another canopy and portacabin.

Next, this is where the testing happens.  There was a white Mercedes in front of me with the driver and passenger being tested.  Wow it took a long time, with the staff reaching in through the open windows with a large Q-Tip.  We sat by the large diesel fuel tanks and electricity generators while we waited for my turn.

It seemed as if we were in a futurist movie while all this was going on.  Or was it for real?  Perhaps we were being checked to ensure we weren’t infectious and were allowed back into society?  Perhaps if we were infected we’d be outcasts, banished to a lawless Mad Max wilderness to fend for ourselves?

I was beckoned.  I moved the little Honda forward and I was instructed to turn the engine off and wind the window down, after my kit had been scanned and checked.  All I could see was a pair of eyes and a tuft of blonde hair as the blue gloved hands prepared the test.

”Right I’m gonna stick this in your mouth, right to the back and you might gag a bit.  Next I’m sticking it up your nose, I mean right up your nose.  Okay?”

”Sure, go ahead” as if I was going to say anything different.

So with my mouth wide open, the blue hand came forward with the little probe and swabbed the back of my throat.  I felt pleased, I hardly gagged or winced.  It was the probe going right up my nose – and I do mean right up there – which made my eyes water.  All done.  Window up.  Off we went.

Later I cannot say how thankful I was to get a text message, followed by an email, thanking me for attending for a COVID-19 test.  The result was negative, I didn’t have the virus.

This was a good result; it meant I didn’t have to stay in.  What’s more, Rachel and Hannah were immediately free.

So the following day, I went for a run.  I would do that any way but this time it felt like a run for freedom.  Certainly a run to say ‘thank you’ to the good Lord for no more symptoms and a negative result.  Also a ‘thank you’ for the stunning views (photo below), the beautiful weather and for a body which can still run.  Seriously thankful.