A while ago, I had an interesting encounter with a young lad, the litter lout. On one level it was just a brief encounter of little importance. On another level, other people’s reactions were quite remarkable and there’s a lesson for me. Here’s the story.
It was a Sunday afternoon, just as I was nearing the end of a little run. On the other side of the road were three teenage lads and I noticed one of them deliberately dropped an empty can of drink onto the pavement. I decided to go over and speak to him and this is where it all started.
I pointed the can out to him, asking if he could pick it up and find a littler bin. He explained there was nowhere else to throw his empty can and besides, he explained he didn’t really care. As it happened, there was a littler bin nearby, just outside the Village Hall. Again he said that he didn’t really care.
At this point his mates joined in, telling me to mind my own business and that they didn’t really care either. Soon the volume from his friends was rising and so I decided to direct my words to the lad who had dropped the can (it seemed simpler than trying to argue with all three of them). I said I didn’t want to live in a scruffy place with litter everywhere, it’s a nice village and people like it clean and tidy, not with litter all over the streets.
I could tell I was getting nowhere, so I suggested that he reflects on this, when he’s alone in his room and without his friends egging him on. He started to look a little embarrassed and perhaps guilty.
So I left it there and carried on with my run. The thing about running is that it pushes my mind into thinking things through more imaginatively. I toyed with the idea of going back to the lads and setting a good example and picking the can up myself. But the moment had passed, so instead I decided to put something on the village Facebook page. It was kind of directed at the lad himself, I was almost apologising for making him feel awkward in front of his friends but also that I’d hoped he would genuinely reflect on what had happened. He might have read it, who knows?
And then the reaction!
Soon after my Facebook post, there was a torrent of likes, dislikes and comments. A couple of people sent direct messages to me as well.
People were divided. Some thought these lads needed “a clip around the ear” like they apparently did in the olden days when such a “clip” was all that was needed to correct the course of a potential delinquent. Others said that they’d done nothing wrong and others thanked me for confronting the teenagers in the first place.
A couple of people who contacted me directly thanked me for highlighting the issue and for my courage in wanting to do something about it.
The reactions grew and grew. One mother wanted to know if it was her son. Another said they drove past as it was happening. People were chipping in thick and fast.
Then, completely to my surprise, the post disappeared. I guess some administrator had seen what was going on and decided to delete the whole post and the comments which followed. I think that was probably the right thing, although generally I would resist any form of censorship.
And what can I conclude from this?
I have mulled this over quite a bit since. It would have been easy for me to have just turned a blind eye, to have not said anything and you might say there’s nothing wrong with that. After all, there was potential for things to turn nasty.
However, I think it’s important we all step up from time to time, whenever the right opportunity comes along. To take a stand for what is right, to act in the best interests of the community, to do what is right (or what we believe is right). If that can involve a bit of “pro-social modelling” and setting a good example, well that could be a nice result.
I must admit I was very surprised at the reactions on the Facebook post. Perhaps it is easier for people to be more vocal from the safety of their mobile phone while removed from the situation. People can say almost anything they want and with such colourful language as well! While I don’t agree with a number of those comments made, it is important people feel free to express themselves, I just wish it wasn’t from behind a computer screen so often.
So an interesting experience on many different levels. Several times I have wondered what the teenage lad thought about it, once he was on his own without his mates chipping in. Sure, I don’t know what was going on in his life but I remember his cheeks looking a bit flushed, maybe through embarrassment. I would just like to apologise if I upset him in any way and to say I’m sorry I didn’t pick up the can myself – to practice what I preach.
I think we have both learned something.