Stop, breathe and relax? Yes, I now have time to do that and I am so thankful. Achieving the right balance between being busy, well occupied and having time to slow down and catch up with things is difficult. Or perhaps it is simply a state of mind?
When I retired, a little over four years ago, I said that I would not be found watching daytime TV and wasting my time away. While that is largely true, I found myself mentally exhausted with dashing here, there and everywhere. And yet I don’t regret a second of it.
It is when I start forgetting to answer emails from friends, being bogged down in a list of things to do around the house and feeling guilty if I think about finishing that book I started reading over a month ago, that I know I should slow down a little.
Add to that the attraction of “being at home” which now seems such a joy. Home representing a safe, cosy place where I like to be. A place where we can live to do the things we want. To invite friends and strangers in for a cuppa. To enjoy the garden and indeed have time to do the gardening rather than paying a gardener. To get on with the much needed renovations which were started with such gusto and have stalled a bit.
Daydreaming at 39,000 feet
When I flew back from America earlier this year, I remember pressing my nose up against the window and delighting in the flight. My thoughts went to many places, all good places as I day dreamed. A part of that was reminding myself of a lesson I had learned in life a long time ago:
With everything I do, the more effort I put in, the greater the reward.
I must have learned this many times over the years. Probably the earliest time was when I would go for a hike in the Black Mountains, often in the winter. I lived within an easy drive and, despite horrible weather, I would stomp up those hills and have the most wonderful walk. Sure it was sometimes tough with horizontal sleet stinging my face and knocking the breath out of me, but it was always worth it.
I would get back to the car (I had a red VW Golf at the time, probably the best car I’ve owned) and I would retrieve the hot pasties I left on top of the engine. Naturally they were well wrapped up in tin foil and they were always lovely and warm. I would sit in the car, eating and drinking a flask of tea and revelling in the beautiful surroundings which even in the winter, were stunningly beautiful.
Then there was my East African bicycle ride on the heap of junk I had at the time. Becoming a middle aged runner and doing reasonably well, even a few marathons. I think of my career; there were many times when I took risks at work, made myself very vulnerable because I was standing for something I believed in and often went against the fashionable thinking at the time. I would like to think I was proved right in the end.
When I have made a real effort, on worthwhile things, I have been rewarded well in the end. Sure, not always in the way I had anticipated but rewarded well nevertheless. I need to cling onto these things and to know that if I’m going to do something, some project or whatever, it is essential I really see it through.
This reminder, at 39,000 feet, still applies down here on the ground. I’m 60. I value life and must always have a purpose.
Back down to Earth….
I’m not sure how or why, but somehow I got sucked into a little carpentry for the village church. You see the gardener in the photo? He is a knitted mannequin and I was asked to make a stand to support him. Him and a collection of others. There was a bridal group, a small group of children depicting Sunday school and a group around the font for a baby’s christening.
For weeks there were various mannequins in our house, sometimes in a spare bedroom, others made an appearance in the garage or the cellar where my so-called workshop is. They gave me the creeps! I kept glimpsing one or two in the corner of my eye and would momentarily think someone was there.
So you know, it was all part of the church celebrating its 800 year presence in the village; 800 years of Christian witness and all that goes with that. Certainly worth celebrating. As good as all that is, I made it quite clear that I didn’t want any of them back in our house, ever! Thing is, I think I know they’re heading for a friend’s attic but I don’t think he knows yet.
Anyway, this was a nice way of playing our part in village life. All part of being accepted and being made to feel welcome. For this I do appreciate that and I just need to continue settling down and working through my endless ‘to do’ list!