We have just passed the first year with our Ukrainian family. Hardly a point of celebration but worth noting in some small way.
Our family, consisting of a teenage girl, her 25 year old sister and their middle aged mother have been with us for a year now. While we get on okay with each other, it is clear they just don’t want to be here. I think that’s most understandable, who can blame them for being like that?
What started as escaping the horrors of the war for just a few months last year, it has turned out to be for the long haul. Perhaps they were thinking they’d come for an English summer, while the teenager’s school was taking a break. And then there was the belief the summer offensive would be successful in driving those Russian scoundrels back onto their side of the international border. Neither has played out.
Instead it was a winter of stalemate, save the odd 500 metres won or lost, here or there. Amazing to think how the Russian army had ground to a halt in muddy, winter conditions. While those conditions on the ground may have slowed things, the more sinister drone warfare was alive and kicking with surveillance drones carrying out reconnaissance ahead of missiles being fired towards more certain targets. Zelensky becomes vocal in pleading for weapons from the West, while Putin becomes a wanted man as a war criminal.
These days we [almost] forbid ourselves to ask how things are “back home”. We already know the answer and it’s not good news. And yet it seems glib or trite not to show some occasional interest in their plight. It is a tricky and delicate line to tread.
Recently I even found myself asking the previously unthinkable question – what would they do if Ukraine does not win the war? Somehow, on a bad day, this unthinkable question might not seem so distant. Clearly our guests had thought about it, even though it was an uncomfortable prospect. We had this conversation in the car, as somehow it is easier when you can’t make eye contact and your mind is having to concentrate on other things; it takes the intensity away and, perhaps, is less of a probing line of conversation. They need their self respect, more now than ever before.
Even though our guests have stayed much longer than we all thought, we are quite happy for them to continue being here with us. It seems the least we can do, although typing this does have a slightly pathetic air about it. However, what else can we do? We cannot snatch the husband/father out from the meagre conditions he lives in and bring him to us. We cannot direct the end of the invasion. Neither do we have a magic wand.
But we do have a faith which can never be snatched from us.
Lastly, please follow this link to a reflective post I wrote in early January when I recorded a few things which has surprised us about our Ukrainian guests.