Life always seems to be full of social dilemmas, this time a curious conundrum has arisen.
This social dilemma is not quite as simple as whether to head for the cafe or the loos upon arrival at a National Trust property, though that does seem to crop up these days, especially with my mother in tow. This social dilemma is more contemporary and, arguably, a reflection of modern ways in society.
When I was 60, I invited a group of relatives to a nice lunch at a hotel, all at my expense. I also invited another group of relations to our house for lunch. More recently my mother invited a group of 16 friends and relatives for lunch to celebrate her 90th birthday, at the same hotel and, quite naturally, at her expense.
Now it is another family member, namely a cousin of mine, who is poised to hit 60 and has decided to invite a small group of relatives, plus a friend, to a pub and celebrate over a meal. Although I am not invited, I hear through the grapevine that everyone will need to pay for their own meal.
At first that seemed wrong to me. I said that if I had been invited, I would decline if it meant that I’d be doing a round trip of 300-odd miles and paying for my own lunch. Was it possibly the new height of rudeness and sloppy social decline, stretching the “bring a bottle” to new limits? All this with said cousin being reasonably prosperous and having done alright for herself, it all seemed a tad baffling, to say the least.
Second thoughts
And yet is this how things are nowadays? Is this how things are done amongst “younger” people? Perhaps it’s a way of an individual avoiding an expense that they could well do without? Paying for yourself is a way – for everyone – is being able to throw a party, organise a get-together of any sort, from pub grub to genteel hotel lunches.
Is getting together as a family more important than looking for whose turn it is to organise a costly lunch? In other words, aren’t relationships (family or otherwise) worth more than the mere cost of paying everyone’s tab?
As for “shall we find the loo?” will need to wait for another blog post.