Retired? The long ‘to do’ list

Despite being retired for six years, my long ‘to do’ list isn’t getting any shorter.  Although full of different things these days, it still bothers me.

Before I retired, I could keep a reasonable amount of “stuff” in my head.  So much so, my line manager used to complain about it, often saying “if you ever get run over by a bus, we won’t have a clue about what needs to be done”.

I did, however, generally keep a paper ‘to do’ list going.  This was useful for writing down all the things I was meant to do but would easily forget, mainly because they weren’t important to me but were, nevertheless, important to someone else and had to be done.  My tactic of being seen writing those things down was helpful as it reassured people I was taking something seriously, even if I wasn’t.

Waking up at 3am

Those ‘to do’ lists did genuinely come into their own when I had a lot on my desk to do.  I would occasionally forget something, or the exact detail, and having it written down was a real life saver for me at times.

It was also useful at 3am when I’d wake up with worries about work – writing those worries down was a nice way of getting things out of my head, so I could go back to sleep.  I hated waking up at 3am with work things on my mind, in fact I almost resented it.  How dare the blummin Council disturb my sleep.

And nowadays?

I still carry on with loads of things in my head.  Instead of it bothering my line manager at the office, I think it concerns Rachel.  I gradually work through them in an order which suits me, although somethings do get pushed down the list time and time again.  It is only when I do have a lot on my mind that I revert to a real list of things to do.  Except nowadays it’s a list on my phone, although I did quite like those tall ‘to do’ books when in the good old days were available for anyone who fancied one.

Annoyingly I find my phone list works well.  Despite my loathing of anything which might resemble pre-retirement days, I do find a ‘to do’ list helps me rattle through things and not get too distracted.

Today, for instance, I have polished my shoes, Hoovered most of the house, cleaned the inside of my car, emptied the waste bins, emptied the dishwasher (twice), did some gardening, brushed my teeth (three times) and so on.  It really has been so satisfying to tick off a batch of completed tasks.

There is of course a flip side.  As much as I have completed quite a lot of tasks, more tasks seem to have arisen.  Fix the front gate (again), invite some friends over, clean the windows, paint the…. you get the idea.  It seems never ending.  Do we lead unnecessarily complicated lives?  Maybe.  Do we live in a high-maintenance house?  Yes.

The more I think about it, we have so much to do.  I think our lives are complicated, too complicated.  How we ever had time to do these things before retirement is beyond me.  Yesterday when I was feeling overwhelmed by the tasks ahead, I found myself wondering if we should sell up and live in a nice little flat.  Someone else could worry about cutting the grass, fixing this or that.  Perhaps we could move while we are still young enough to be able to handle something like that?  The truth is, I’m slowing down and I don’t like to admit it.

Then, a few minutes later, I snapped out of those thoughts.  I like living in the Quirky Museum with all of its nooks and crannies, the wonky floor in our bedroom wouldn’t seem right if it was completely level.  I am always amused by losing Rachel in the house or garden and have to phone her to find where she is.  I like the village community, feeling accepted and welcomed here (being respected is something which life in Dunstable lacked).

Besides, imagine how quickly I would become bored through living a simple, neat life in a little flat somewhere.  A bored Doug is definitely something to avoid!

So the ‘to do’ list continues.  I thank the Lord for my list because it keeps me alive and kicking.  However, I’m always yearning for that elusive ‘balance’ that I announced would be a feature of my retirement.  That was six years ago, I’m still trying to find it!