The elephant in the room

Our Swiss cheese plant, outgrowing its welcome
Our Swiss cheese plant, outgrowing its welcome

The elephant in the room, or rather the Swiss cheese plant, is probably feeling somewhat upset as we plot its demise.  As the days draw in and the nights are cooler, it has probably twigged its days are numbered.

I am rather fond of this Swiss cheese plant.  I enjoy watching new leaves grow out of the last leaf and they are fascinating as they stretch themselves and angle each leaf at the optimum angle.  All the while air roots are sprouting and these too need containing, lest they completely take over.

I bought the plant at our local garden centre 3 or 4 years ago.  It was rather small, somewhat battered and on a table with other plants which were all poorly and therefore reduced in price.  I think it only cost £1.50 or thereabouts.  So I feel pretty chuffed at having nurtured the plant and delighted to see it grow and flourish so nicely. Wow I’ve got green fingers at last!

During the spring and summer it lives in our conservatory where it is warm and light.  It really enjoys the warm weather and drinks 1 or 2 litres of water every day.  In the winter it hibernates inside the house and this is where the problem lies.

Realistically it is too big now to come into the house, it will be too cold in the conservatory before too long, so I need to find it a new home – or else it will be adding itself to the compost production line in the garden.  Of course, if it was just down to me, I’d keep it in the house somewhere with daylight LED’s on it for 12 hours a day but in fairness to my family and our Ukrainian family, I need to find a new home.

So it needs a new home

Any offers?

Do you have a spacious office that could do with a large plant to calm the nerves of your stressed out colleagues?

Do you have a heated conservatory where you could allow it to stay for the winter?

Do you have an orangery which is warm, humid and is a wannabe jungle?

Any other suggestions or offers?

2 thoughts on “The elephant in the room”

  1. By happy coincidence I have an Orangery right next to the walled garden between the stables where the Bentley is stored and the staff accommodation. Please contact my Assistant Undergardener .

    1. Thank you Anthony, sir. Alas someone has beaten you to it.

      Just as well, it would be far too big for your Bentley and, as you well know, no Range Rovers are allowed on our drive way, especially black ones. I did relent when the jolly old gas tumble dryer was sold last year but I made him use the driveway at the side of the Quirky Museum.

      Another time….

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