How am I meant to feel at 63 years old? I hope the above photo, taken in October 2024, says it all. Look at my face, can you tell what I’m thinking? Look at my build and you might see issues lurking. However, there’s more to it. Much more.
Rachel took that photo of me in Dawlish, Devon. As you can see we have our granddaughter and her pushchair with us. During the autumn Rachel and I took her out for a splendid day. Life seemed so complete that day and continues to be so, even now I savour it. If I look content, I most certainly am. Even the parking ticket I got that day is something I happily take in my stride.
So, how am I meant to feel at 63 years old?
Let’s divide this into two sections, starting firstly with my state of mind.
I think there is a lot of truth when people say our lifetime happiness is like a U-shaped curve. We are happy and carefree as children. Then the pressures and realities of adult life kick in and our happiness dips. By the time we retire, we look around and feel grateful for what we have. Most retirees are reasonably healthy, probably as financially as secure as they ever will be. They have the time, money and freedom to enjoy a stress-free life.
While this is true for me, I can go further. I look at life differently these days. I feel very contented, there’s no need to keep pressing further ahead in life, climbing the career ladder and so on. Moreover it is about how I can serve my community a little better, my family, our Ukrainian guests, or society as a whole? I am still haunted, to a certain extent by the man who died in our village. He was my age and he needed a friend but I was too slow (and have blogged about it here).
I hear my daughters talk about their lives and I’m reminded of how I was at their age. Nowadays life has a lot of uncertainties for our children in their 20s. Perhaps the pressures faced by Gen Z are more than I had at the time, or perhaps they’re simply different. Mental health issues seem to be far more prevalent these days amongst young adults, possibly fuelled by financial pressures from paying more on their housing and everything else which life demands these days. As I worked through my career it became apparent how more was expected of a workforce, often in subtle ways beyond simply the number of hours you were required to be present in the office (and for me this was generally a vague amount and those vague days are almost certainly over).
However, perhaps there’s still a bit of a Type-A personality lurking in me. I’m never satisfied. I daydream the places I’d still like to see. I would still like to run another marathon (although I will probably need to concede this one!). As much as I like our Quirky Museum, there is still much more I want to do to it, although 90% of that will undoubtedly remain in my imagination.
When I first retired, now 6½ years ago, I went through a phase of being more outspoken, maybe a kind of rebellion against the world of work. I think that’s still true to a certain extent but nowadays I find myself muttering “idiots” under my breath far more these days. This applies to other car drivers, politicians and so on. There’s something to be said for seeing the bigger picture, not getting caught up in the detail and being a bit more strategic – I do this even more these days.
I wish I could just press the pause button. Instead life seems to be racing away so quickly. I can hardly believe Christmas has arrived and passed in a flash; it seems like it was only yesterday that Christmas decorations were being sorted out and cards were being written. I wouldn’t be surprised if, when I’m 80 or 90, I look back on my 60s and think they were the best of times.
Physically
I like to think things are pretty good. My kidneys are holding up nicely and having had quarterly blood tests, the hospital have said I can be seen every six months as my kidneys have settled at a better-than-expected level. Thoughts of dialysis or a transplant is something I’ve put out of my mind. My eighty-plus tablets each week seem to be doing a good job. Even the plumbing “down there” seems to work fairly well. Sure I still get plenty of UTIs showing on the regular dipstick testing but I simply guzzle loads of water and out-drink it before it spreads to my kidneys and blood stream.
Yesterday I went for a run (I’m still trying to get back into running). Over undulating terrain around Woburn woods, I ran non-stop for 32 minutes. Considering how unfit I am and that I had Covid last week, I think that’s okay for a 63 year old. I thoroughly enjoyed it and can’t wait to go again.
Just before I bask in too much well being, I should remind myself of a few things.
- I have arthritis in my right foot. Even with the steroid injection it still hurts a bit. I’m not completely sure it is only one joint
- Putting on weight is so easy. I am a few pounds heavier than I was a year ago. Without doubt my painful foot has limited my activities and this has contributed to weight gain – my watch tells me I walk fewer steps in 2024 compared to the year before. Weight has also been gained through a limitless supply of mince pies, Christmas cake and all kinds of other goodies
- My eyesight has changed. Early in 2024 my optician told me I must wear glasses all the time for driving as I didn’t meet the minimum requirement. This has led to me wearing my glasses more and more in the year – now I wear them most of the time
- I look at my hands and I see my late father’s hands. My hands are bigger than they used to be; they look as if they belong to someone who is a gardener. My skin is drier and much more wrinkled these days
- My hair is thinning out, really thinning. If the light is right, I can look through my hair and see the top of my head. I try to console myself by reminding myself how my hair has always been fine and fly-away. I have given up wanting thick, heavier hair
- I am nowhere near as strong as I used to be, not that I have ever been particularly strong. I think they are right about losing muscle mass at this age
- I sleep very peacefully these days, more than ever before. Perhaps this is through having less to worry about? I do, however, try to restrict sleep to bedtime, rather than resting my eyes watching TV but it is more tricky these days! Over Christmas when I had Covid, I slept for over 9 hours each night. The most was 9 hours 50 minutes, according to my watch. Bliss!
On balance
On balance, I like being 63.
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You look pretty good for 63!
Not everyone can afford to be retired at 63 or anywhere near that. I am older than you and still paying rent.
I am 61 and agree that life seems to be rushing past at a rate of knots, leaving me agonising about what I should be doing to make the most of the time left to me!
Thank you Sally, Steve and Jellyfish for your comments.
Jellyfish – well thank you for the compliment!
Steve – I wish you well, perhaps you’re not too far from the norm in many areas or countries. Where do you live?
Sally – we are on the same wavelength