This weekend has been a bit weird and I just wanted to capture a few thoughts while it’s on my mind. I have a few questions on my mind: am I retired or on holiday? How am I meant to feel?
Right now we have our eldest daughter Becky with us. She is enjoying her summer holiday before returning to university and the final year of her degree. It is lovely having her at home. We quite often have her fiancé, David, come to stay and it’s nice how he has slotted in as part of the family now. Becky is heading to South Africa on Wednesday with David and his family for their summer holiday there. Naturally she’s looking forward to that and just starting to think about getting packed.
Our youngest daughter, Hannah, is in North Wales as a sailing instructor. Although that’s quite a long distance from us, she calls every day for a chat and so doesn’t seem that distant. We know her every thought, worry and concern.
On Friday evening Rachel and I had just driven up to Ashridge (a favourite spot for us) for an evening walk and Hannah called, so she was able to join us for a little stroll. I mentioned how amazing it was with the first track I heard driving home was Great is thy Faithfulness.
As we drove home it rained and it is extraordinary how this is the first time in a month or so since we have had any rain. Seeing the windscreen wipers in action seemed such a strange thing! Once we had got home, the gently pitter-patter of rain made everything smell so refreshed and clean – wonderful!
And yet I was so tired, really tired. I went to bed and feel asleep with my watch and glasses still on. In the night my sleep was restless, I knew in the morning I’d been tossing and turning through trying to make sense of the day.
Saturday
Saturday was a normal day, quite deliberately so. Normal in the sense of mostly pottering around at home and taking things easy.
Having said that, Becky and I went over to Leighton Buzzard to check out a floating cafe which had appeared a few days ago (see above picture). We had previously chatted to the owner and had subsequently wondered if we could use this as a venue for a special Afternoon Tea with a couple of our friends soon. We each had a coffee, which was nice. Although a nice, slightly quirky place, we decided this wasn’t the ideal venue.
However we did enjoy listening to the owner chat about the highs and lows of trying to make ends meet through living and working on the canals. He explained the challenges faced by people in his situation in having the right trading licence from the River & Canal Trust (the Government quango who manages our waterways), not to mention being in the right place and trying to attract sufficient passing trade. Definitely not the life for me!
Saturday afternoon was spent at home cleaning my car inside and out; very satisfying. Saturday evening was magical. Again we went to Ashridge, with Becky joining Rachel and myself. We were enjoying our evening walk and then we came across lots of little LED night lights either side of the path. Turns out this was the National Trust hosting a number of families who were camping nearby for the night. They had arranged an enchanting woodland walk for the children which, once dark, would have been such a lovely experience for the children. Well done National Trust! We even saw our friend Caleb, who works there and he explained a little more for us.
Sunday
An ultra-normal Sunday for us, actually I didn’t want it in any other way. As we progress into our new phase of early retirement, I want to maintain some familiar routines, so we are not becoming unsettled through turning our lives completely upside-down.
We went to church in the morning, chatted to lots of friends afterwards, came home and had lunch. During the afternoon we went up to see Grandma (Rachel’s mother) exactly as we have done so for over 20 years.
This time I asked if I could claim some art materials. Grandma used to be an amateur artist but gave it up because of her failing eyesight and had said I could have any of her art kit. I hadn’t wanted to have anything before I had reached this stage. So, I now have a set of newish pencils, ranging from very hard through to 8 and 9B (which I love!). There’s also a handful of crayons which double up as watercolours, not sure what these are called but I think a combination of crayons mixed with some water could be useful.
We came home. Rachel stayed indoors, away from the heat and I did a bit of clearing up in the garden. Later we went for a local stroll around the neighbourhood and out onto the Busway. We chatted to Hannah and confirmed I was all set to go over next weekend for our long-awaited hike up Snowden.
As I reflected on the day, I had some mixed feelings. Often I would have work on my mind and feel a bit anxious about going into work on the following day. I would often get ready for work by ironing some shirts and so on. I don’t have to do this anymore and it feels strange.
This coming Thursday is officially my last day at work. I also have mixed feelings about this and it will seem strange steering a meeting in the morning, followed by a formal meeting with my manager and then a farewell ‘do’ (which I am really looking forward to. It is my opportunity to pay tribute to the work we, as a team, have done and how they’ll continue to do. I also want to list the things I will miss – some of these will be serious (my colleagues, the positive impact our work has on disadvantaged people etc) and some of the daft things (such as the creaky floor by my desk – sounds like I’m farting when I stand up!).
Once Thursday is out of the way, it is then when I will feel totally free from work and the escape plan has been fully achieved! Almost there!