Confessions of an election count assistant

We are feeling rather weary after being count assistants in the local elections today.  Quite a serious matter but actually quite a bit of fun leading to these confessions of an election count assistant.

It seemed rather strange driving over to the Council offices where I used to work.  We got there on time and wandered into the shabby looking marquee which had been plonked into the staff car park.  You see, the Council doesn’t have any single place which is big enough for such a task, so a marquee is erected (no idea whether it is hired or not, not bothered these days).  It was huge, it was cold, really cold.

Rachel and I were in a group of eight counting assistants and there were two supervisors. In turn we were one of about 40 groups, each assigned to count the ballot papers of a few different wards.  Quickly a nice atmosphere developed, light hearted and yet hard working as we diligently did our sorting and counting.

The marquee also contained the “top table” from where everything was coordinated and there were a few absolutely enormous TV screens which could show the results.  Trouble is, I noticed it had the wrong date on the screen, it said “local elections Friday 2nd May”.  Being such a nerdy kind of person, I mentioned this to a rather harassed Council Officer.  “Oh yeah, I suppose I could change it…..” as he added this task to the list of things he was worried about.  Still, I thought, better for me to quietly mention it than a jilted candidate.

Counting started.  Firstly we were verifying the number of postal votes cast.  This was followed by doing the count in ward after ward and involved a certain amount of origami destruction.

“All very well for you to fold your ballot paper up to resemble a dead penguin, the likes of me then have to unfold it so we can count your vote pal” I muttered to myself, followed by “oh and after all that unfolding, you don’t even bother to vote!”.  Eyebrows were raised as I plonked it into the Doubtful Vote basket.

Mind you, that wasn’t the only doubtful vote.  Others used the election to unleash their anger on those who were in power, or some wrote lengthy explanations about their displeasure in the Government.  Alas, these were simply plonked into said basket for a decision by the Returning Officer.  The Returning Officer looked at each one in front of the candidates and declared “no, no, no, no, no, no” to each one.

While we were counting there were quite a lot of candidates, their agents and other guests on the other side of our desks.  We were “protected” by a 3 inch high piece of Perspex which kept a comfortable distance.  Some were watching our every move, scrutinising every ballot paper as it was placed in a pile.  If they thought any of us had made a mistake, they were quick to start protesting and pointing out the alleged error with glee.

It was interesting seeing the cross section of candidates  in this election.  There were a noticeable number of independent candidates who were, I think, standing for their first election.  These candidates were all friendly, often courteously thanking us for our hard work.  I secretly smiled to myself when two were elected from our group.  I wish them well.

I mentioned they might have been standing for the first time.  At one point there was a group standing in front of us, all tapping away on their phones.  This was forbidden, according to the No Mobile Phones sign right behind them.  I politely pointed this out and immediately she said “it’s someone else’s fault” to which I couldn’t resist saying “spoken like a true politician” and that led to a good laugh.

The serious side

I really like playing my part in democracy. We also earn a little pocket money, which is always put to good use as we don’t need to draw down so much cash for our living expenses.

The probity, the scrutiny, the openness and the access all UK citizens have to democracy is so important. Seeing ordinary, everyday folk stand for election is so encouraging as it is often the preserve of the middle aged, middle class folk.  Instead there were candidates who appeared to come from all walks of life and I imagine this is replicated across the land.

This is so encouraging!  Politics seem to be in such turmoil at present with the mess of Brexit, the defence secretary getting fired and all kinds of shenanigans.  Instead of this kind of thing putting people off from politics, we get an increase in people standing for election.

This is so positive, let’s all hope some good can come of it.